Excerpt
“Sir, having an open pit on a balcony is a serious offense.”
“How do you know it was this apartment? It could have been next door.”
Just as I said that, Joe Joe came and stood between my legs with my juicy steak in his mouth. Me and “Pretty Eyes” looked down at the same time.
“I’ll have to come in and inspect your apartment,” he said with commanding authority.
I forgot I was wearing the skimpy little apron and opened the door wide and let him in. I followed his thick round ass in those tight uniform pants as he walked toward my balcony.
“Listen it was just a small steak….”
The charcoal was still smoldering as he stepped out on the patio. He took out his yardstick and measured the distance from the pit to my wall. He shook his head and started writing a ticket. He looked at me. His eyes traveled over my body. A warm feeling washed over me as I realized that the only thing that stood between me and this man was the thin little apron I was wearing.
“You look like that nice fireman from Station Sixty-nine.”
“And you look like the man who looks like—”
“Who looks like I like looking good. Yeah, that’s me.”
“Since I’ve discovered this serious violation, I will have to inspect the rest of your apartment. Where are your smoke detectors?” He stood with his feet planted wide apart. I saw his hand brush his crotch.
I didn’t know what to do. I knew if I turned around, he was going to see my bubble ass with the big white bow across it. I wasn’t sure if his memory of me was friendly or not. I moved crablike sideways as I led him back into the house and pointed out smoke detectors in the kitchen and hall.
“And the bedroom?” He looked me directly in the eyes.
“Sir, having an open pit on a balcony is a serious offense.”
“How do you know it was this apartment? It could have been next door.”
Just as I said that, Joe Joe came and stood between my legs with my juicy steak in his mouth. Me and “Pretty Eyes” looked down at the same time.
“I’ll have to come in and inspect your apartment,” he said with commanding authority.
I forgot I was wearing the skimpy little apron and opened the door wide and let him in. I followed his thick round ass in those tight uniform pants as he walked toward my balcony.
“Listen it was just a small steak….”
The charcoal was still smoldering as he stepped out on the patio. He took out his yardstick and measured the distance from the pit to my wall. He shook his head and started writing a ticket. He looked at me. His eyes traveled over my body. A warm feeling washed over me as I realized that the only thing that stood between me and this man was the thin little apron I was wearing.
“You look like that nice fireman from Station Sixty-nine.”
“And you look like the man who looks like—”
“Who looks like I like looking good. Yeah, that’s me.”
“Since I’ve discovered this serious violation, I will have to inspect the rest of your apartment. Where are your smoke detectors?” He stood with his feet planted wide apart. I saw his hand brush his crotch.
I didn’t know what to do. I knew if I turned around, he was going to see my bubble ass with the big white bow across it. I wasn’t sure if his memory of me was friendly or not. I moved crablike sideways as I led him back into the house and pointed out smoke detectors in the kitchen and hall.
“And the bedroom?” He looked me directly in the eyes.
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