Excerpt from Sis. Clarabell
“I can’t believe you rented this little two-seater for our trip to New Orleans.”
“I was cheaper than cheap.”
“I offered to take my car.”
“I wanted something sexy. That minivan ain’t gonna catch me no niggas.”
“It’s not meant to catch ‘niggas.’ It’s meant to take people to church.”
“Daddy Longlegs knows how to bus in that money. You need to let me use that bus so I can haul in niggas in to watch me dance.”
“I’ll do no such thing. Oh this little car. Do you have to drive with your legs gapped so wide? You’re bumping my leg. And there’s no way for me to recline. The convertible top is stuffed behind us.”
“You the one wanted to take that ol’ man’s ashes and dump them in the river.”
“Grandpa loved the river. It’s only fitting that his soul rests there in peace, instead of that sordid den I call home.”
“Takes two to tango. If I’m soiled, you soiled.”
“Perhaps I should have rented a hearse to carry grandpa’s ashes.”
“I danm sure ain’t driving no hearse to New Orleans. He come to you in a UPS truck. He going to the river in a Porsche. Be happy.”
“If sardines are happy being in a tin can, then I guess I’m happy.”
“I got something that will take your mind off your misery.”
“Put that thing back in your shorts. You think I want to be the entertainment for truck drivers and such ilk? Suppose a busload of church people pass us and look down and see that Satan’s snake?”
“My rod and staff comforts them.”
“I wish you wouldn’t quote bible verses in that profane way. And why are we stopping now? You have to piss again? I’m glad that farmer didn’t have a shotgun when he saw you pissing on his cow.”
“The heifer looked thirsty. This stop is for me and you.”
“Me and you to do what?”
“Have a picnic.”
“I don’t recall packing a picnic basket.”
“I got the hotdog and you got the buns.”
“I can’t believe you rented this little two-seater for our trip to New Orleans.”
“I was cheaper than cheap.”
“I offered to take my car.”
“I wanted something sexy. That minivan ain’t gonna catch me no niggas.”
“It’s not meant to catch ‘niggas.’ It’s meant to take people to church.”
“Daddy Longlegs knows how to bus in that money. You need to let me use that bus so I can haul in niggas in to watch me dance.”
“I’ll do no such thing. Oh this little car. Do you have to drive with your legs gapped so wide? You’re bumping my leg. And there’s no way for me to recline. The convertible top is stuffed behind us.”
“You the one wanted to take that ol’ man’s ashes and dump them in the river.”
“Grandpa loved the river. It’s only fitting that his soul rests there in peace, instead of that sordid den I call home.”
“Takes two to tango. If I’m soiled, you soiled.”
“Perhaps I should have rented a hearse to carry grandpa’s ashes.”
“I danm sure ain’t driving no hearse to New Orleans. He come to you in a UPS truck. He going to the river in a Porsche. Be happy.”
“If sardines are happy being in a tin can, then I guess I’m happy.”
“I got something that will take your mind off your misery.”
“Put that thing back in your shorts. You think I want to be the entertainment for truck drivers and such ilk? Suppose a busload of church people pass us and look down and see that Satan’s snake?”
“My rod and staff comforts them.”
“I wish you wouldn’t quote bible verses in that profane way. And why are we stopping now? You have to piss again? I’m glad that farmer didn’t have a shotgun when he saw you pissing on his cow.”
“The heifer looked thirsty. This stop is for me and you.”
“Me and you to do what?”
“Have a picnic.”
“I don’t recall packing a picnic basket.”
“I got the hotdog and you got the buns.”
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