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These aren't Aunt Beulah's little tea cake samplers

                           Dorm Daddy 

   Just behind the dressing room is an area of dead space where the janitors throw old chairs, weight benches, and other odd knickknacks. There’s even an assortment of ropes and an old car tire. Go figure. So one day while visiting campus, I was doing my shower inspections as the entire soccer team was showering after a whopping loss. Apparently they were in a sour mood and all of my smiles and glances were returned with a fat middle finger in my face. I was about to depart that hostile environment, when suddenly I was picked up, hauled behind the lockers, and forced to my knees.
   “What brings your old ass in here to stare at us, cocksucker?”
   “Man look at that red t-shirt he got on. He’s a spy from the Cardinals--a Cardinals’ cocksucker.”
   I had the misfortune of wearing the colors of the team that had just beaten the State U Blue Jays. Hell I didn’t even know there was a soccer game on campus that day. I tried to explain, but my neck was held tight in the grip of a strong hand. I could only babble and salivate which made my mouth juicy and wet for those cocks.
   “I think you like looking at our cocks. Well now you’re about to taste them you Cardinal cock sucking bastard.”
   My shirt was ripped off and used as a blindfold. I still managed a peek at the circle of cocks around me. I thought I had gone to heaven and was kneeling at the most delectable altar I had ever seen. Thick pink cocks, gorgeous bronze cocks, and huge black cocks with bulging veins surrounded me. Balls thick and juicy hung low. I pretended I was a little Virgin Mary and had never known a man, when a stinging slap was delivered to my face that caused my mouth to fly open as wide as a pussy delivering a baby. A big black cock drove in first. Its large head pounded my throat. Those huge balls banged my chin. My head was turned and twisted so that his cock bulged my cheeks out. I was released just before I was about to spew my breakfast all over the floor. Of course a thick white cock took over and continued the punishment. It slammed in deep and in and out. I could feel the big balls slapping my chin. He pulled his cock out and forced me to poke out my lips. He called me names and beat me all over my lips and jaws with his hard cock.
   “Take that, Cardinal cocksucker!” A wad of spit splattered my forehead. Above me others pushed and jostled trying to get their dicks some mouth time. A slight shoving match broke out. I thought I was home free. I tore my shirt from my face and was about to head for the opening to freedom, when I was grabbed from behind.
   “Not so fast, cock sucker!” 

The Boat

   “Take off your clothes, pussy boy.”
   “Sir I am a United States citizen. I do not have to take my clothes off for anyone.
   “You pussy DEA.”
   “I am not DEA!”
   They suddenly rushed me. My clothes were tugged and torn off my body.  In a moment I stood shivering and naked in front of four young sailors. The oldest looked to be twenty-two.  They examined my clothes and wallet.  One took the bills and stuffed it in his pocket. They held up my pink bikinis and laughed.
   “Ah yes, pussy boy wear panties.  Bend over, pussy boy. You have mike up your ass maybe, yeah?” The oldest sailor asked.
   In halting steps I turned around.  I felt their hot eyes on my round tight ass.
   “Bend over, pussy boy.”
   I tried to protest this latest request, but a large callused hand slapped my ass hard. I yelped, bent over, and spread my cheeks as commanded.  The light from the powerful flashlight burned my ass. His rough ungreased fingers dug into my hole without mercy. I leaped forward to escape this violation of my ass. Another sailor jumped in front of me and stuck my head between his muscular thighs. I was held like a cow in a milking pen.  When the “proctologist” was finished, he teased the other sailors by pretending to make them smell his finger. Most of them ducked their heads and waved him away.  However one sailor grabbed at the big black finger and took a sniff, stuffed it in his mouth and sucked slowly.
   “Nasty Bertrand,” the other sailors heckled him.  “Nasty! Nasty!’

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The Smoke Detector

   I placed my thick juicy steak on the small flaming grill. And since it was hot outside and I was only cooking for me, I didn’t have on a stitch. My patio is full of jungle plants. I was hidden from the world below or anyone with a telescope. I was man in his most natural caveman state—naked with his dog beside him (if you count a poodle as a dog) and grilling his meat over a roaring fire. Well, maybe not roaring. And if it got too hot outside I could always scoot my ass back into air-conditioned comfort. But it was primal enough for me. I bent over my little grill making sure my dick didn’t get too close to the fire. I was grilling T-bone, not tube steak. Behind me a cool breeze blew across my ass. I turned and leaned over the balcony and watched the city turn on its lights like a lady putting on her jewels to go out in the evening. I glanced over at the firehouse and saw a figure standing in the driveway. I had a feeling that the figure was looking toward The Dukes. I moved a plant to block the view and quickly finished cooking the steak.
   Just as I sat down to put the first bite in my mouth, there was a knock at the door. I peeped through the peephole and a pair of almond eyes peeped back at me. I could see a gold badge glinting like the sun on a broad blue-shirted chest.